No More regrets left

Hey, Buddiesesss! 

 Today, I’m starting this blog without any introduction or heading because, honestly, I just want to share some things that have been going on in my mind. I’m tired of keeping everything bottled up inside, and as always, I’m here to put my thoughts into words.

So, for the past month, my mind has felt a little heavy. I mean, there’s something going on in there, but I can’t quite figure out what it is. Okay, I know that sounds confusing, but yeah… HAHA! 

I’ve done everything I could to make peace with the things I once felt guilty about. I’ve tried to let go of that guilt, but even after all that, I still don’t know why something feels a little off, dude. I guess there’s still a part of me that’s waiting for things to finally fall into place.

I just hope that, someday, I’ll figure everything out and start feeling good and normal again after what feels like such a long time. But who knows when that day will come, hmm? Guess we’ll have to wait and see!

Anyway, let me tell you something interesting that happened yesterday, on the 10th of October.

I was in my front yard, just walking around and thinking about how to focus on the present instead of constantly dwelling on the past. You know, trying to clear my head and give myself a little break from all those thoughts.

And then, something caught my attention.

Outside my gate, on the road, I saw a little kid trying to catch a frog. 🐸 As you all know, kids LOVE doing that kind of stuff! They see a frog, and suddenly, it’s an entire adventure.

A little later, while I was near the gate, I saw a boy who looked around 14 or 15 years old, heading off to his tuition classes. When he encountered the frog, he got scared.

And then came the third person.

A man who looked around 40 or 45 years old came across the same frog. And guess what he did?

He simply kicked it and walked away.

No hesitation. No visible fear. Nothing. He just carried on with his day.

Now, I know this might sound like a completely ordinary incident. Three people encountered a frog. That's it, right? Nothing special.

BUT WAIT… THERE WAS SOMETHING INTERESTING ABOUT IT.

As I continued walking around my yard, I started thinking about those three people and their different reactions. The little kid, the teenager, and the grown man. Three different ages, three different responses to the same situation.

And that’s when a thought crossed my mind.

Every person has their own fears, weaknesses, and struggles, doesn't matter how old they are.

The little kid might have been curious, the teenager might have been afraid, and the older man might simply have reacted differently. We can’t really know what was going through their minds, but their reactions made me think about something much bigger.

Life doesn't stop just because we're afraid. It doesn't stop just because we're carrying burdens.

We all have things that scare us. We all have things that weigh on our minds. Some of us might be struggling with our past, some with our present, and others with things nobody else even knows about.

But guess what? We still keep going.

And honestly, isn't that what life is all about? Learning to live with our fears, facing our struggles, and continuing to move forward, even when we don't have everything figured out?

That little incident genuinely made me feel better. I felt this unexpected sense of happiness and joy while thinking about it. It was such a simple moment, but somehow, it helped me look at my own situation differently.

For so long, I've blamed myself for things that happened in the past. I've kept thinking about my past self, my decisions, my mistakes, and everything that made me feel guilty.

Sometimes, it feels like I'm still punishing myself for things that have already happened.

But yesterday, I had a different thought.

"It's okay, dude. Whatever happened. Now, I can handle things."

Maybe I don't have all the answers right now. Maybe I still have some things to figure out. But that doesn't mean I'm incapable of moving forward, right?

And honestly, that thought felt SO GOOD.

For the first time in a while, I felt like I didn't need to keep writing down every single thought just to get it out of my head. I don't feel the same urge to turn every emotion into a blog post anymore.

And that's why I think things might be changing.

I don't want to keep putting my thoughts on a page and uploading them just because I don't know what else to do with them. I want to express myself in my own words, openly and honestly, instead of keeping everything locked away inside.

Not silently, not by constantly overthinking everything, but by actually expressing what I feel.

And yeah, there's something I've never really told anyone.

For a long time, I was dealing with situations from my past, and I felt like nobody would truly listen to me or understand what I was going through. So, I started writing things down on a page, hoping that somehow, putting those experiences into words would help me let them go.

Writing became my way of dealing with everything I couldn't express out loud.

And don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely grateful that I had that outlet. It helped me put my feelings into words when I didn't know how else to express them.

But now, I feel like I'm slowly moving towards a different place in my life.

I've worked through so much of the guilt I was carrying, and I'm beginning to understand that my past doesn't have to define every part of my present.

I'm allowed to move on. I'm allowed to feel happy again. And I'm allowed to stop blaming myself for everything.

And maybe, just maybe, that's what I needed to realise all along.

So, here's something I want to tell you guys, too.

If you're going through something, if there's something constantly bothering you, or if you're carrying thoughts that you haven't shared with anyone, please don't convince yourself that you have to deal with absolutely everything alone.

Keeping everything inside can sometimes make things feel even heavier. You might tell yourself that you're fine, that everything is under control, and that there's no need to talk about it. But sometimes, expressing what you're feeling to someone you trust can make a real difference.

You don't have to tell everyone your story. You don't have to explain every little detail. And you definitely don't have to figure everything out in one day.

Just give yourself the chance to be heard.

And remember, you don't have to be completely free of fear, guilt, or uncertainty to keep living your life. Sometimes, moving forward simply means accepting where you are right now and taking things one day at a time.

So, tell me something, buddiesesss: Have you ever experienced a small, completely random moment that made you think about life in a whole new way? I'd genuinely love to hear your thoughts!

Anyway, buddiesesss, I guess that's all for today's blog. This one wasn't planned, wasn't scripted, and didn't have any fancy introduction. It was just me, my thoughts, and a little incident that somehow turned into a lesson.

And honestly, I don't even know if I'll continue writing these blogs anymore. Maybe this is one of my last blogs, or maybe I'll come back someday when I have something on my mind that I really want to share. Who knows, right? HAHA!

I started writing these blogs because I had so many things trapped inside my head that I didn't know how to express. Writing became a way for me to let those feelings out when I felt like I had nobody to talk to. But now, things feel a little different. Maybe it's time for me to stop putting every thought into words on a page and start experiencing life without feeling the need to explain everything.

Maybe I'll quit writing these blogs. I'm just letting things flow naturally instead of forcing myself to keep writing.

Until we meet again, take care of yourselves, be kind to your minds, and remember that it's okay to outgrow the things that once helped you get through difficult times.

Maybe I'll see you in another blog, maybe I won't. Only time will tell.

Until then, this is me, signing out. Peace, buddiesesss! 

and btw 'buddiesess' is my style of saying buddy